I will never forget how nervous I felt the morning of my first Taekwondo tournament. I was a purple belt at the time and my husband, son, and daughter were also on this training journey with me. I vividly remember waiting with other martial artists for our ring assignments. The noisy gym, the nervous chatter, the anticipation mounted as we were led to the ring. As I sat and awaited my turn to compete, I looked down at my hands, and realized they were violently shaking. I was shocked as I realized how nervous I was. I knew I had trained hard and I was well prepared. As a musician I had competed and performed in front of large crowds many times. Why was I so nervous? I became more anxious, maybe because I was unsure as to why I was already anxious.
Then I competed and was successful, and as I reflected on that experience, I was and still am proud of my efforts, my preparation, and powering through despite the incredible nerves. I successfully competed in three more color belt tournaments and eventually nervousness gave way to excitement, and the anticipation of the fun and camaraderie of the day. With experience I conquered my nervousness. I found each one became easier to manage my nerves and to push through the discomfort. Eventually tournament became one of my favorite days, especially since our family competed and experienced the day together.
Finally, it was time to compete in my first tournament as a Black Belt. To my surprise, the nerves were back, even more so than my very first tournament. The caliber of competition was steep, and I desperately wanted to represent myself well and put my hard work into action. It was also important to me to inspire confidence and excitement in the color belts as I know some were experiencing what I experienced when I was beginning too. I wanted them to believe and know that when they push through this gets easier, more fun, and incredibly rewarding.
My first event was “Forms”, where technique, flow and spirit are key. I was so nervous I barely remember the event, including how I performed. Thankfully, I was able to watch a video later and know I did my best. My next event was “Board Breaking”, where a critical balance of accuracy, speed and strength are necessary. As a color belt we always had 2-3 breaks at tournament depending on our rank. As a Black Belt I needed to break 5 boards. I had put the time in, practiced hard and planned carefully to determine the best order to do the breaks to have the performance flow smoothly. I broke all 5 with challenging techniques and I won the division. I was more than prepared for a second-round eliminator to make it to the tournament grand champion finals.
Previously the most boards I had broken in a day was 3, now I had to do another 5 for a total of 10. My nerves were on high alert; still, I pushed through the discomfort and had a wonderful experience competing again.
At any point along this journey, I could have decided that tournaments were not for me since they made me so nervous; then I would have lost out on an incredible learning opportunity as well as the memories that I made with my family. Black belt tournaments are now one of my favorite days of the year. I particularly enjoy helping the color belts overcome their nervousness and build confidence in their journey as martial artists.
Working through your discomfort builds strength mentally and spiritually. It builds confidence and belief in yourself and it is how we get better. When have you found yourself feeling this discomfort and nervousness to the point of shaky hands? How did you overcome this and push forward anyway? Maybe before presenting to a group for the first time, speaking to an Executive Leadership Team, making your first sales calls, speaking up in a meeting, or when sharing a new idea in front of a large group. Maybe it was when you tried a new experience, hobby, or activity for the first time.
The first time is always the hardest; we feel vulnerable, nervous, a rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, and butterflies in our stomachs as we consider the unknowns and risks of the new situation. We worry about not doing our best and potentially even embarrassing ourselves. Our thoughts can be pretty convincing!
Real personal growth happens by pushing through uncomfortable situations. I believe that we need to continue experiencing uncomfortable first times so we can discover new things about ourselves and keep elevating our performance to greater heights.
Where have you been holding yourself back from trying something new? We do not need to have all the answers before we begin. Start today. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, build the strength of will and push through it anyway. Flex that perseverance muscle and stay humble. Don’t hesitate to ask for help along the way. We are all on this growth journey together and we are waiting to celebrate your next success. Push forward and keep pursuing excellence. You won’t regret it!
I look forward to hearing your stories of your “first times” and the growth you experienced on the other side.
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